


A pinch of quiet, a spice of timid and just the right amount of awkwardness

by angelindisguise



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-23
Updated: 2013-02-23
Packaged: 2017-12-03 08:21:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/696242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelindisguise/pseuds/angelindisguise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn is in a steady relationship and has a steady job, but what he needs is some spice in his life so when he meets this bloke by chance he feels different, good different.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A pinch of quiet, a spice of timid and just the right amount of awkwardness

**Author's Note:**

> End Game is Ziall

“Bye. Love you”  
“Love you too.” Zayn said quickly before jetting off, leaving Liam behind in the food court. He ran a hand through his raven hair as he walked toward his work, unrolling his sleeves covering the many tattoos littered on his tan skinned arms. He sighed as he entered his building and sat on his chair and began typing away mindlessly on his computer. Sometimes he thought there was something lacking, an emptiness within himself, like he was meant to do other things but he hasn’t quite figured it out yet, you could say he was waiting for something to happen. He grabbed a fistful of hair and groaned slightly, he was having a mid-twenties crisis if such a thing existed.

He welcomed the end of Friday like an old friend you haven’t seen in a long time and he stands in the aisle of the video store, in the drama section trying to figure out what movie he felt like watching that night. Maybe something like The Notebook, or was that too gay of him? Well if it was he didn’t care because he reached for it anyway only to find it being plucked away by another hand, one that was pale and not a woman’s surprisingly. He turned to see a bloke, around about the same age and the first thing he noticed were his eyes and how wonderfully blue they were with specks of gold littering around the pupil because Zayn has never really seen eyes just like his, then there was his grin that was full of joy and a hint of embarrassment.

 

“Well this is embarrassing.” Zayn says after a bit, noticing how the blush on the other lad’s cheek grew redder.  
“Yeah little bit.” He said with an Irish lilt, and it was sexy as hell. Zayn was a little lost for words.  
“I would say it’s for the girlfriend but.. I don’t have one” he said, giving a little chuckle looking straight into Zayn’s eyes.  
“Aren’t we just pathetic excuses for men?” And the stranger let out a boisterous laugh and Zayn couldn’t help but laugh with him because he felt his soul tickled by the sound coming out from the other man’s mouth.  
“The name’s Niall btw.”  
“Zayn.”  
“So Zayn, you take it.”  
“I couldn’t possibly take this now.”  
“And why not?” And Niall was tapping the tape on Zayn’s chest and Zayn’s heart picked up a beat or two from the close proximity, he could smell the coffee from his breath and could see clearly into his eyes mesmerized by the swirling blue orbs.  
“Uh- I- Uh well.” And Zayn felt stupid for mumbling like a fool but he couldn’t help it.  
“That settles it then.” And Niall curls his fingers around one of Zayn’s wrist and tugs it up and gently forces it on his palm. “Here. I’ll just entertain myself some other way. Catcha later, Notebook.” Just like that Niall had left with a sly grin on his face and Zayn staring fondly in his wake. ‘ _What a character’_ Zayn thought feeling a slight twitch from his dick, also noting the slight innuendo he passed. Cheeky and he liked it.

 

Like Niall had said he rented the movie, ignored the raised eyebrow of the video store clerk and went home while flicking a text to Liam to ask whether or not he was going to come over and if he was bring some Chinese with him or no sex. And he grinned wickedly at the reply on his phone: ‘ _No fair! :( I’ll be there in a few.’_

 

It boggled his mind that he thought of Niall while he was watching the movie- snuggled up under a blanket with Liam – Niall’s gleaming eyes that penetrated his soul and he wondered what it would be like if he watched the movie with him or how else would he be entertaining himself tonight. But all thought process went to mush as Liam slid his hand around Zayn’s crotch and started palming him while looking completely innocent watching the movie. A smirk made its way onto Zayn’s lips and he lifted his hands in a claw like shape threatening Liam before he thrust them down to Liam’s sides playfully tickling the lad chasing him to the bedroom closing the door with a resonant bang.

 

-__-

 

A few weeks later Zayn was on his way to meet up for lunch with Liam when he caught sight of the familiar lad from the video store and he didn’t know whether to say hi or not but that was already decided for him when the blondie saw him and started walking in his direction. ‘ _Act cool, act cool’_ Zayn chanted in his head, putting on one of his pleasant smiles.  
“Hey Notebook!” Niall said, grinning from ear to ear.  
And Zayn’s whole ‘act cool’ façade crumbled by Niall’s piercing gaze but he manages to stutter a hello to try and salvage some of his coolness.  
“What’s up? You want to grab some lunch?”   
“Oh, I can’t already meeting up with someone.”  
“That’s cool, maybe next time.” Niall said before heading off in the opposite direction. _‘Yeah I hope so.’_ But it wasn’t weird that Zayn hoped to grab lunch with him some other time, was it? He only met him once but once was enough right? Those eyes were just so enticing and lunch didn’t sound too bad with a complete stranger because well how are you supposed to make friends anyway, and Zayn wouldn’t mind Niall as a friend he didn’t seem like the serial killer type.

 

So the next day he went to the food court without an agenda or anything. He definitely wasn’t hoping to see the blonde Irish man, no of course not because that would be ridiculous. Okay he was being ridiculous but he couldn’t help it, he wanted to know Niall and see what other excitement lies underneath the goofy grin and the hypnotic eyes. So he waited and waited until he couldn’t wait anymore without getting fired from his boring ole job. And he tried not to feel the slight disappointment that settled in his chest as he walked back to work but it wasn’t like they actually set anything up so he really had no right to be disappointed. Although that didn’t stop him from going back the next day and the next day and the next day until he finally came around to his senses and stopped this absurdity before it becomes a full pledged obsession over a person he barely even knew.

 

He woke up on the Saturday morning with Liam wrapped around his side and a pleased smile on his face, no thoughts of the Irish lad lurking deep within his mind. Liam often slept over but he didn’t live with Zayn, simply because Zayn hadn’t taken that next step and they’ve been together for a long time so it was something he would be meaning to ask when the time was right.

 

Zayn was flying solo that day because Liam had clients from overseas he had to tend to. Normally Zayn would maybe put on a movie and rest his feet but he needed some new work clothes so he decided to put this day to good use. Donning on a pair of khaki pants and a plain v neck he set out to the mall, driving downtown to the shopping complex.

 

Upon entering his luck happened to be on his side as he spotted a good looking Irish lad and a familiar rush of his near-obsession emptied itself out in his mind. Yes alright Zayn admitted he was good looking and if he wasn’t with Liam he would totally go for it but he was, so _end of story_. He took tentative steps toward the blonde who was checking the price tag of a t-shirt that would look like it would really hug his torso and Zayn licked his lips because he wouldn’t mind seeing Niall in that.

 

“Hey.”  
“Notebook! What’s up?” Niall said flashing a big ole grin. Zayn rolled his eyes at the nickname but the smile that was on his face betrayed him.  
“Just doing some shopping, I see you are too.”  
“Yeah all by my lonesome. You here with anybody?” And Zayn shook his head all too eagerly. “Good coz I want someone’s opinion on this.” Finally he could get a chance to know Niall other than the fact he liked to watch The Notebook too or that he was Irish, or that he was left handed by the way he picked up the coat hanger. Was that stalkerish? And he chastised himself for acting like a twelve year old fan girl.

 

And the day carried on like that, taking turns asking each other for their opinions of the chosen outfit, somewhere in the middle it became a game of who could dress up in the funniest clothing and Zayn had stomach pains from laughing too hard, he also got penis pains because some of Niall’s choices fitted him so well, catching slivers of Niall’s translucent skin every time the boy had taken off a sweater and the shirt underneath would ride up slightly exposing juicy, juicy skin. He shouldn’t even be looking at other men because he had Liam who worked out three times a week and looked like he was carved by the gods but what was the harm right?

 

“You guys are so cute together” said one of the shop assistants, a warm smile etched on her face. Zayn’s laughter died down quickly, donning a mask of confusion and a raised eyebrow while Niall took it with an indifferent grin.  
“Thanks but we aren’t together.” Niall said and Zayn felt his heart tug in his chest and he had to remind himself that they actually aren’t together. And Niall had said thanks like it was a compliment to be with him.  
“Oh I- uh- didn’t mean to- uh sorry.” And she walked away briskly like she couldn’t get out fast enough, her face unbelievably red. Niall chuckled a bit and suggested to get food.

 

“Damn I’m hungry!” Niall said sitting down with a whole tray full of food.  
“Can you even eat all of that?” Zayn voicing out his thoughts.  
“Watch and learn.” And with a cheeky grin he delved into his food, munching and spinning yarns happily and Zayn wondered where had Niall been all of his life.

 

When Zayn left Niall later that afternoon he had a sappy smile on his face and an overall happier persona he received a text from Liam saying to meet him at the café in an hour, so he decided to stop by his apartment to drop off his bags of clothes, take a little nap and then walk to the café.

 

*__*

 

“Fancy seeing you here,” Niall greeted from where he was sitting, his usual grin on full display.  
“Yeah, small world,” Zayn replied, giving a little chuckle flashing his pearly whites back at Niall. What are the chances, seeing Niall twice in one day.  
“What brings yah here,” Niall pondered out loud, motioning Zayn to take the empty seat in the slightly crowded café. Zayn noticed a few empty seats by Niall and opted for the one opposite, deciding that it gave the best view to his searing blue eyes.  
“Meeting a.. uhm.. a friend.” A friend? Is that what he just called his boyfriend of a year or so.  
“Oh cool, well we can keep each other company for the time being,” Niall smiled brightly, a little too brightly and strange because Niall had only really got to know the other bloke earlier that day but he’s never known someone like Zayn. Someone so in touch with himself and so sincere and down to earth, someone quiet, but a good sort of quiet, like polar opposite to Niall who could talk and talk and Zayn would be there always with a smile, nodding and listening to every detail of what Niall had to say like each bit of information was vital or laugh at his jokes, even the lame ones.  
“Well since you asked,” Zayn smiled warmly, and Niall’s grin only grew bigger, his eyes crinkling at the corner, a little blush forming on his cheeks and at that point Zayn decided that that was his favourite smile by Niall.

 

They were conversing in small talk when someone unfamiliar to Zayn shouted what seemed to be ‘Ni!’ in their direction. Niall’s normal smile turned up a notch at the sight of the new face that seemed to appear by their side in an instant. He was tall and lean, and had a mop of chocolate brown curls on top of his head.

 

Niall stood up and gathered the other male in a quick hug and peck on the lips. A peck on the lips? Zayn’s mind was reeling, could it be? That Niall and this other man were together? He tried to hide his shock by quickly averting his eyes for a second, trying to slow down his heartbeat. Niall was into guys. Zayn was into guys. What were the chances? But Zayn had a boyfriend too, so why did it matter?

 

Zayn looked up again and both males were beaming and Zayn could see where the attraction was. He had nice milky skin, whereas Zayn had murky tan, he had gleaming green eyes while Zayn had stained brown and an aura of confidence that suited just nicely with Niall’s own carefreeness and Zayn was just a pinch of quiet, spice of timid and just the right amount of awkwardness.

 

Why he was comparing himself, he didn’t know. And why he was putting himself down, he didn’t know either. He thought he was good looking enough, or else he wouldn’t be able to bag a guy like Liam. Also the fact that the girls couldn’t keep their hands away from him in high school boosted his ego. But obviously this wasn’t a competition.

 

“Zayn this is Harry, Harry Zayn.” Niall gestured, introducing the both of them.  
“Hey mate,” Harry politely offered his hand.  
‘ _Fuck his voice is so sexy,’_ Zayn mentally noted. “Nice to meet you,’ taking the strong and capable hands that Harry held out. ‘ _God and his hands are big too! He must be packing._ ’ Zayn got caught up in his thoughts he forgot to release. “Oh uh,” he pulled away quickly laughing very awkwardly, and one thing about his skin colour he’s grateful for is that it hides the blush that would prominently be visible at that moment.

 

Harry took a seat beside Niall, hands tangled with one another to which Zayn slightly grimaced at, not being able to help his emotions today. It’s like he was jealous in way, and he obviously had no right to be because Niall wasn’t his, he had no claim to him but still, seeing him hold someone else’s hand and not his own slightly infuriated him. Good thing he snapped out of it with the sight of Liam, and who was he talking to? Louis?

 

Louis trailed behind Liam as they made their way to the table and Zayn stood up meeting them halfway, wrapping Liam in a tight hug, and an intense lip lock that caught Liam by surprise. He could feel the gazes of a few people boring into his head and he smiled at that like he was trying to prove something.

 

“What was that for?” Liam pulled away but still keeping his hands around Zayn’s waist.  
“Nothing” Zayn smiled, turning his head to Louis who he gave a once over before pulling him into a hug too.  
“No kiss for me thanks,” Louis teased.  
“You aren’t my type anyway Tommo,” Zayn teased back.  
“Ouch. Oh hey Ni, Haz!” Louis waved at the two.  
“Hey mate,” they said in unison.  
“Wait you guys know each other?” Zayn asked perplexed.  
“Yeah, we work together. Wait so you know them?” Louis replied.  
“Niall, but I just met Harry before you guys came. Huh small world. Oh by the way this is Liam, my boyfriend.” Zayn spoke proudly, showing Liam off like a polished trophy. They shook each other’s hands and Niall offered them all seats at the table which they kindly accepted, snaking his hand with Liam’s in the process.

 

It wasn’t awkward as such, maybe a little but they soon overcame that when Niall started making inside jokes with Zayn about their day and Zayn would laugh just a little too much leaving the rest of the group no chance of speaking and they wondered who was actually in a relationship with who. Zayn noticed the way Liam’s eyes would swivel back and forth around the group in confusion and then stop on his and Zayn knew what he was wondering, when had he and Niall gotten so close? And when did they even meet? And why he didn’t tell Liam? But it wasn’t like he didn’t tell Liam on purpose he just thought there wasn’t anything to tell in the first place.

 

It wasn’t until a couple cups of coffee and cake later that people started to break off. Louis being the first, then Harry saying he had to meet his sister for a little bit and then Liam who had a gym session which left Niall and Zayn on their own. They pondered leaving once their partners left but decided against it because well, they enjoyed each other’s far too much to do so, which none of them are willing to admit yet, trying to justify in their minds that it was two friends getting to know each other better.

 

“You want to go grab a drink?” Niall offered, feeling tired of the café scene that they’ve been occupying.  
“Sure,” Zayn said, gathering his things before they made their way out. He felt sort of giddy, going for a drink with Niall, like he was on some sort of date, and quickly buried that thought before it could get him into more trouble. Niall couldn’t help but chuckle at the way Zayn’s face contorted into a frown, brow furrowing and creases marring his forehead.  
“You ohk there mate?” Niall laughed, pressing two fingers on the lines that formed on Zayn’s forehead, trying to smooth the wrinkles.  
Zayn blushed and welcomed the warmth that Niall’s fingers made, instantly relaxing. Niall pulled his hands away abruptly, like he caught himself doing something he shouldn’t and Zayn kind of wish he hadn’t, _kind of_.

 

They walked quietly to the nearby pub, hands brushing as people shoved past and pushed them closer together and Zayn’s hands would tingle slightly and he would have the urge to grab hold of Niall’s hands just like the way he wanted to in the café. And he almost got what he wanted, somehow in the midst of the hustle and bustle of the crowd Zayn and Niall’s pinkies were linked only slightly, like they would lose each other in the sea of people.

 

Zayn couldn’t bear to turn to see what Niall’s face looked but it must’ve been a mix of what he was feeling, which was a very hot flush on his cheeks and a very rapid heartbeat that threatened to escape out of his chest the longer he felt the little warmth pressed on his pinkie, though when he felt the pressure lift from his finger and the breeze cooling where it once was he craved for the warm sensation once more and as bad as that was, and how unfair it was to Liam it wasn’t at the fore front of his mind, everything was _NiallNiallNiall_.

 

Once inside the pub, they ordered a pint each and chatted over a game of footy, making a bet on who would win. The winner would buy a round of tequila shots, which started friendly banter between the two and one drink turned to two and then turned to three and so on and in the end they didn’t know or care who won but there were lots of boisterous laughs and giggles – yes giggles – from both sides and Zayn never knew he could laugh so hard that it made it impossible to suck in air. Niall just had that kind of effect on him and he thinks he could get used to this, laughing and drinking and staring in awe at those marvellous cerulean eyes that reflected the epitome of happiness, and that glorious grin that seemed to always be plastered on the blonde’s face, he just wanted to suck on those thin pink lips, pin him to the wall and explore his mouth with – no. What was Zayn thinking? He has Liam, yes Liam, cute, adorable, fit as hell Liam. His boyfriend of a year and the man he loves - but he was shook out of his reverie when Niall burst out into laughter once again resting one of his hands on Zayn’s thigh, quite high up to be frank and Zayn loved it, the way it seared through the fabric of his chinos, sending little sensations up his body.

 

Zayn was thoroughly drunk off his face after he tried to match Niall drink for drink, although small Niall can really hold his liquor, so when the bartender refused to serve him another drink - claiming he had a few too many earning the middle finger from Zayn - Niall had Zayn’s arm slung around his shoulder, outside trying to hail a cab and Zayn loved the close proximity that it created.  
“Little too much to drink huh buddy,” Niall teased poking Zayn in his rib.  
Zayn put on a pretend pout and stuck his tongue out, not sober enough to form coherent words. He didn’t want to leave Niall’s side just yet, “Can we go for a walk first? I want to try sober up,” he said, trying to say it as clearly as he could.

 

Niall laughed before half carrying him to the nearby 7-eleven but Zayn had other things in mind, gathering as much liquid courage as he could, he pushed them in an empty alley way and pinned Niall up against the cold cement wall (tomorrow he would just blame it on the alcohol). Their faces were inches away from each other and Zayn searched the other lad for any hints of hesitation and when he found none he crashed their lips together, teeth clanking and kiss slobbery and drunken but it was the a damn good kiss because it felt so right and so good- but then he was abruptly pushed away, stumbling a few metres back.

 

“You can’t do that Zayn!” Niall shouted and for once his happy go lucky grin wasn’t etched on his face and Zayn frowned at that.  
“I can do whatever I please.” He retorted.  
“No you can’t! I have Harry and you have Liam! I- I have to go.” Niall protested. But Zayn wasn’t having any of that in his drunken state so he grabbed Niall’s wrist with one hand and grab a fistful of blonde with the other and crashed their lips again and Niall couldn’t help but let out a moan and that was all Zayn needed to hear before deepening the kiss and living the fantasy that he concocted not so long ago by exploring the unchartered territory that is Niall’s mouth with his tongue.

 

Moments pass by and Zayn could feel Niall becoming unresponsive, his movements becoming stiffer and stiffer so Zayn tried to deepen the kiss but only to be met by a brick wall. He pulled back to find a distraught lad, instantly sobering him up.  
“Niall..” Zayn whispered, giving Niall a comforting squeeze on the shoulder.  
“I want to! But Harry! Oh god, Harry! Zayn! What – why – you can’t do that!” Niall shouted.  
“Do what?”  
“That!” glaring at the hand resting on his shoulder, “be here for me, like were in some sort of relationship! You can’t!” he continued.  
“But I want to..” Zayn trailed off, realizing what he just said, and how it betrayed Liam on all levels but still he felt like he almost meant it, like he would throw away everything he and Liam had just for this man, for this other unworldly creature and he thought, it could be worth it.

 

“God dammit Zayn! You’re drunk and you’re horny and you don’t know what you’re saying! I have to go,” Niall said with finality, giving Zayn one last look to say, ‘this shouldn’t have happened.’ Zayn watched as Niall left and rounded the corner to disappear into the night.

 

When Zayn got back to his flat, he thanked whoever was up there that he didn’t share an apartment with Liam because he didn’t think he could handle the questions that would have inevitably come flying his way, so for now he relished in his small victory but once his head hit the pillow and eyes closed, it was Niall’s face that haunted him, the raw emotion of hurt and simply torn.

 

O_o

 

It had been a couple of days now and Zayn was trying to avoid Liam as discreetly as possible, coming up with little white lies just so he didn’t have to see the boy. He couldn’t do it; he didn’t want to feel the inevitable pang of guilt that would settle in his stomach as soon as he laid eyes on his boyfriend. Zayn had cheated, plain and simple and he couldn’t bring himself to see Liam just yet. Plus there was also a chance that Niall would contact him in some way or form – knowing they didn’t exchange details it was by far a long shot. He needed to know what was going to happen, if he was going to tell anyone, if things are awkward now. His mind was going a little crazy because what if Liam found out?

 

By the time the third day came around Zayn decided that it was no point waiting on Niall because he had his boyfriend, his perfect boyfriend that wasn’t blonde or blue eyed and that was all he needed? And that didn’t mean to come out as a question but Niall had an extraordinary effect on him, inserting doubt into the crevices of Zayn’s mind.

 

So when Zayn was knocking at the door of Liam’s apartment after flicking him a text if he could come over, he was pushing the deep thoughts of Niall out of his mind but only managing to tuck it in the back where it couldn’t interfere.

 

When Liam opened the door Zayn quickly gathered the other lad into a tight hug and kissing every part of his face until finally resting onto Liam’s plump pink lips and Zayn automatically compared the kiss with Niall which he mentally berated himself because why would he need to think about Niall at an intimate time like this. He pulled away making a little _pop_ as he did and Liam chuckled slightly asking what that was for and to which Zayn said because he missed him and that wasn’t a total lie because Zayn did miss Liam, or was it that he just missed the company of someone?

 

“Guess who’s here?” Liam said.  
“There’s people? And here I thought we were going to get some alone time.” Zayn replied cheekily with a wink and also tried to figure out who would be over. And he was about to find out as Liam dragged him away from the door to the lounge where a familiar blue eyed young man and right beside him was the curly haired bloke.  
“Hey mate,” Harry greeted. “Hope we weren’t interrupting something but Louis here thought it would be fun to have a game night.” And Zayn didn’t realize that Louis was there also because he was just openly staring at Niall and his oh so perfect face. Suddenly every little thing about Niall he tucked away seemed to scream at the front of his head.

 

“Doesn’t that sound fun babe?” Liam tugged on his arm slightly snapping him out of his gaze and he smiled and managed a yes before heading into the kitchen to make himself some tea – maybe with an added kick - of course asking whether the others wanted some too while they started setting up what looked to be monopoly. Brilliant.

 

In the midst of boiling water and pulling out cups Zayn heard the distinct Irish accent that he – would never admit – dreamt about.  
“Need a hand?” Niall asked, taking the spot beside him.  
“Uhh yeah sure.” Zayn said awkwardly, feeling slightly claustrophobic in the small kitchen like Niall was occupying all of the space. His eyes tried to look at anything other than Niall’s blue orbs but surely enough he had found himself staring deep into them, ‘ _shit’_ he thought.

 

“How are you?“ Zayn asked.  
“Yeah alright. You?”  
“Not bad.. Look about the other night I-“  
 Zayn started and before he could get another word out Niall pushed him up the bench and kissed him. It was soft at first, like testing the waters to see if Zayn would respond and he did, aggressively at that. Before you know it the two males were fighting for dominance, a bit of give and take on both side, sloppy kiss and tongue wrestling and it wasn’t until the high pitch scream of the kettle that brought the two back to earth.

 

“What was that?” Zayn hissed, completely taken by surprise, but a good surprised nonetheless.  
Niall looked utterly guilty “I – I saw how you were looking at me and uh – I don’t know. Shit!” he said, stumbling all over his words, an obvious flush on his cheeks. Without another word or glance at Zayn he straightened himself out, rubbing his lips together to make them less red and swollen due to lip biting and sucking and running his hand through his hair for the last time he joined the rest of the lads in the lounge.

 

Zayn stood in the kitchen for a second trying to deduce the situation that happened and shit was he in deep, deep trouble. He pulled the kettle out pouring the boiling water into the respective cups – deciding to add that extra kick from his friend vodka - and headed out to re-join the boys.  
“Thought we had to call for a search party or something,” Louis teased, sighing overdramatically. Zayn gave them an apologetic smile each but a sort of ‘we need to talk’ look to Niall, who took it nonchalantly and if he understood or not Zayn wouldn’t know.

 

The night soon came to a close after an intense battle of Monopoly between the five with Louis coming out on top, jeering and rubbing it in Zayn’s face who came so close but unfortunate to land on Mayfair St - having to fork out more than he could afford - he had to hesitantly succumb to defeat. When Liam and Zayn waved goodbye to the lads, Zayn couldn’t help but feel extremely guilty because for one, Harry was a great guy, he was funny, smart and confident and he was just so damn likeable, coming more out of his shell than the first time they met in the café. And secondly, he was reminded why he loved Liam so much, but it was different now because it was tainted with the picture of blue and speckles of gold, thin pink lips and the sound of that god damn adorable Irish accent.

 

In just a short span of time Niall had affected Zayn this much and it shouldn’t be this way because Zayn loves Liam and he was going to ask him to move in with him in the near future and Niall is with a great guy and he can’t wreck that. Zayn was being stupid, clearly, he was being rash and he tried to convince himself that Niall was just a phase, that it would go away, he prayed it would go away.

 

When Zayn was plunged deep inside Liam that night, bodies moving in sweet rhythm, moans and groan echoing off the walls, images of Niall invaded his mind and how good he would look naked, pale white skin contrasting to his own tanner skin, deep hungry moans begging Zayn to go faster and harder in an Irish lilt, sloppy wet kisses and especially his blue eyes staring deeply into his own and he felt so guilty coming inside Liam, curling up next to Liam whispering I love you into his ear knowing all too well that Liam wasn’t the only person on his mind that night, that he wouldn’t have minded shouting Niall’s name as he reached climax.

 

X_x

 

The next time Zayn saw Niall again was not till a month later, and it wasn’t like he was avoiding him or anything, he just happened to be busy whenever Louis set up another game night, well multiple other game nights. He would say things like he had work to do, and he really did but not necessarily needed to be done at that point, but he thought why put off something today what you can do tomorrow, so he spent nights alone in front of a computer instead of having quality time with his mates and boyfriend having a laugh and a few too many beers.

 

He had been getting better at not think of Niall and his luminous eyes and the jovial laugh that sounded like music to his ears, so he thought, but really it was just getting worse, everything he could relate back to Niall, the colour of the sky, the sound of people laughing, or people kissing, even the stapler on his desk – wondering what kind of things Niall staples at his work – and it consumed him along with the guilt that bubbled in the pit of his stomach every time he kissed Liam.

 

Zayn made his way out of his office into the cool night, walking a few blocks to his apartment, and it was times like these he thanked himself for fighting for his apartment in town. And it was times like these he wished he didn’t come home to an empty loft, with leftover Chinese in the fridge ready to be heated and eaten alone. And he had that option but it wasn’t Liam that he wanted to be there or else he would be there already, it was a blonde bloke, with shimmering blue eyes and a laugh that he wanted to say he was the cause of, it was the man that was literally walking 5 paces in front of him. He was walking right in front of him; Niall was there, in front of him, walking there, in front – “Nialler!” Zayn called out after coming to terms with the situation.

 

“Oh..” Niall breathed out, a little apprehensive and Zayn may or may not have caught Niall saying shit under his breath. “Hey Notebook, what’re you up to?”  
“Had a bit of overtime at work, you?” Zayn replied, continuing walking the general direction and Niall falling instep.  
“Yeah same.” Niall said, looking down at his feet and an awkward silence hung in the air and after moments of walking they were nearing the pub that they had once been in not so long ago and Zayn took a chance by asking Niall for a drink to which he just nodded not being able to resist the hopeful glint in Zayn’s eyes.

 

A few drinks later, they were laughing and cackling like there was no tomorrow, the awkwardness being drunk away and Zayn couldn’t help but reciprocate the glowing smile that Niall gave him or stare at his overwhelming eyes because he could see himself in it, see himself with Niall, holding his hand whispering sweet little things in his ear and that was when he blurted out “I like your eyes” And Niall’s heart stuttered inside his chest because Zayn liked his eyes, and it was a compliment he received from many people but it was different hearing from Zayn and how much depth there was in it.

 

“What else do you like?” Niall prompted because he wanted to know more what Zayn liked about him, it made him feel good, great, more than great, out of this frickin world.  
“I like how carefree you are. I like that you can make me laugh so hard that my stomach would hurt. I love your smile, the ones that make the corners of your eyes crinkle.”  
“Oh so its love now?” Niall teased, trying to compensate for the blush that is evidently colouring his cheeks.  
“I love how you blush.” Zayn said as he caressed one of Niall’s warm cheeks. “I love how you smell like food. I love the way your lips feel on mine.” And Zayn was unbelievably close to Niall now and he saw how Niall took a big gulp, his adam’s apple bobbing before slowly bringing their lips together to capture him in a passion filled kiss.

 

It wasn’t until the bartender said out loud for them to get a room – earning a couple of catcalls cheers from the other people inside the pub – that they broke of the kiss and they stared into each other’s eyes, brown locked blue, having a silent conversation before leaving hand in hand in the direction Zayn’s apartment. “I love how your hand fits in mine”

 

They continued from where they left off at the pub, hands roaming trying to touch as much of the other person as they could, kissing passionately, tongues caressing and it was sweet and purposeful. Zayn unbuttoned Niall’s dress shirt whilst sucking a lovely bruise expertly placed on his shoulder and Niall could only tilt his head back because it felt so damn good when Zayn was doing it.

 

Soon there were no barriers between them, clothes strewn haphazardly on the carpeted floor, a shoe left somewhere by the bedroom door, its matching companion kicked several metres away. Their bodies collided igniting a burning flame in both of their souls. Limbs tangled together as they got so lost in each other, they couldn’t tell where one ended and the other began. Their hands searched for uncovered skin, yearning to absorb every detail of their partner’s body, the blemishes, the birthmarks, the scars, tattoos, the special spots that drove them wild.

 

Niall was on his back with his legs up in the air supported by Zayn’s capable hands while he was penetrated with deep hard thrusts from Zayn, moaning and groaning and clutching the sheets feeling out of this world by the amount of pleasure that was coursing through his veins. He panted and beads of sweat started forming and with every thrust a loud ‘ooh’ or ‘ahh’ accompanied it. Zayn slowed his pace and bent down to kiss Niall’s all too willing lips and whispered, “can you?” and with a nod Zayn pulled out carefully pulling off the condom, and Niall sat up and leaned back on the headboard while Zayn took out another condom and some lube and slicked Niall’s cock with it.

 

He took his position, straddling Niall, lining up before slowly descending on Niall’s dick. It was painful at first but once Zayn got past the pain he increased his speed, bouncing up and down moaning loudly which prompted Niall to meet Zayn with thrusts of his own, trying to bury his cock as deep as he can to get a louder moan from Zayn.

 

“I’m close” Zayn said with gritted teeth as he stroked his cock and Niall bucked harder and faster until Zayn could no longer contain it and spilled his cum all over Niall’s chest and with a few more hard thrusts Niall came deep inside Zayn, shuddering as Zayn clenched his ass together making it much more tighter, a wave of euphoria passing through his body.

 

T_T

 

Zayn awoke in the morning to his alarm, only to find his bed empty and he couldn’t help but feel a little hurt. So he checked around his flat for a note of some sort, because that was the least he deserves right? And he did, atop the table. ‘ _I need to think a bit, I had a really amazing time though x’_ and Zayn smiled chastely at the messy scribble.

 

There was that void again within himself, he realized he had the wrong piece of the puzzle this whole time, trying to fit it and he thought it fit at first but the gaps were too big to not notice now and he had to handle it, sooner rather than later.

 

Days grew to weeks until he bumped into Niall again one lunch time, and he was getting tired of these random occurrences, for once he wanted it to be on purpose like Niall wanted to see him. He pondered whether he should call out to him or not because it might just lead to another heart breaking moment he does not want to deal with but in the end he does just in the hope of seeing Niall’s smile again.

 

Instead of calling out, he decided to fall in step beside him wondering how long he’ll notice that Zayn was there and it only took him a few seconds before Niall almost tripped over his feet recognizing the person beside him.  
“Jesus Notebook, you scared me to death there.” Niall blurted out clutching the left side of his chest pretending to have a heart attack. Zayn chuckled and asked if he wanted to go grab some lunch.

 

“So I broke up with Liam.” Zayn said once they sat at an empty table, catching Niall mid bite of his kebab, a little splutter of lettuce flying Zayn’s way.  
“Oh” was all Niall could reply.  
“Yeah.. You didn’t get back to me,” Zayn said bluntly, again Niall was shocked at how blunt Zayn was going about it but he tried harder to conceal his surprise.  
“Oh” because ‘oh’ was really all he could say, because behind the ‘oh’ was something much bigger and Niall felt so incredibly guilty. He wracked his brain on how to say it but couldn’t find any words so he just said it straight up. “Harry asked me to marry him.”

 

This time it was Zayn that dribble the sprite that he was consuming, “what? Shit.. When?”  
“Like the same week that we – you know –“  
“Had sex.” Zayn finished for him, little pins stabbing at his heart.  
“Yeah I was totally going to come by and stuff but..”  
“I understand.”  
“Yeah, but I haven’t given him an answer yet.” Niall said quickly and he could see the smile that threatened to creep on to Zayn’s face like he had won some sort of battle.  
“Why not?”  
“Because..”  
“Of me.” Zayn said smugly and there was a hint of blush on Niall’s cheeks that only proved his assumption. Niall stayed quiet under the gaze of Zayn’s scrutinizing gaze, head down making patterns with his fingers. Zayn was thinking, thinking hard.

 

He grabbed Niall’s hand and linked their fingers together, Niall looked up to stare into the beautiful grin that framed Zayn’s perfectly and he couldn’t help but feel mesmerized by the way he was looking at him all hopeful and cheeky. “Let’s run away” he said. “We could go somewhere, leave this place and it would just be us two, you and me, me and you. And we could get married.” His eyes glinting with passion and Niall smiled Zayn’s favourite smile of his.  
“It’s not like you can marry Harry or else you would’ve already.”  
“You’re right.”  
Zayn let go of Niall’s hand, to which he pouted at but didn’t say anything as Zayn was busy ripping bits of tinfoil from the wrappers of kebab.

 

And after a few minutes  Zayn stood Niall up, grabbing one of his hands he propped himself on one of his knees, “Niall Horan, will you do me the honour of spending the rest of your life with me” Zayn said mustering up as much courage as he could.  
“Shit. What the hell you nutter!” Niall shouted a grin breaking out on his face, trying to pull back his hand half-heartedly only to be locked in an iron grip but it wasn’t like he could bring himself to pull away because Zayn was just too adorable down there, looking up at him with his puppy dog eyes.  
“Answer me!” Zayn proclaimed.  
Silence fell inside the food court – occasional beeping and what not inside the kitchen – eyes swivelled in their direction all hopeful and expectant just like Zayn’s and all the blood rushed to Niall’s cheeks.  
“Yes, you dork.” Niall whispered.  
“What? I couldn’t hear!” Zayn shouted with a shit eating grin on his face.  
“YES!!” Niall screamed and a round of applause and ‘woohoos’ were heard while Zayn fitted the tinfoil ring around his finger. And Niall loved it, this incredible feeling in his chest, he could hear Harry nagging at the back of his mind but he ignored it because this blissful happiness that Zayn evoked inside him was taking over and he relished it in, basked in all its glory and all he could think of was _ZaynZaynZayn_.

 

When Zayn stood up he felt a little light headed, like all the blood just rushed to his head. He was never known to be the impulsive type and he was more than surprised when he did what he did. He guessed that Niall just brought out that side of him, a side that he never knew he even had and Niall pulled him closer and wrapped him in a tight hug and pecked him on the lips emitting a loud pop when he did so.

 

“How high are you?” Niall said, holding Zayn by the shoulders unable to contain his grin.  
“Yes.” He replied pulling a face pretending to be high.  
“Silly!” Niall let out a stream of giggles still trying to get his mind wrapped around the impromptu proposal. He clung to one of Zayn’s arms dragging him along. “You were joking right?” he said, feeling the weight of the ring on his finger.  
And Zayn looked into Niall’s eyes and simply said, “maybe.”

 

^_^

“What happens to Harry?” Zayn asked, naked and a little bit sweaty and sore.  
“I’ll deal with him.” Niall said softly, curling up closer to Zayn donning the same nakedness.  
“Hrm”  
And they laid there in comfortable silence, deep in thought thinking about their next step. Zayn wondered how Harry would take it, maybe like Liam who handled it really well, only a few tears escaping but they ended in good terms and Zayn felt bad, so bad like he kicked a puppy several times. “It’s Niall isn’t it?” Liam inquired out of pure curiosity, blowing his nose on a tissue that Zayn handed him who tried not look into Liam’s defeated eyes. He thought he would save Liam by not telling him he cheated; he didn’t want to hurt the poor guy any longer after he made him waste his time on him. With a few seconds of silence that seemed to drag on for eternity he huffed and said “I see. I guess I’ll go, I’ll see you around? Maybe” and he picked up his coat and left.

 

Niall left in the early hours of the morning, leaving another note: ‘ _see you tonight cutie x’_. Zayn couldn’t help but beam throughout the whole day, a dopey grin as he said good morning to his fellow work mates, something he never does.

 

The day went by slowly, the only thing getting him through were little cute messages from Niall and that only made him more excited for tonight because finally everything he’d been dreaming of, the thing he’d been waiting for so long, the person who had been occupying his every thought and slowly taking his heart is finally going to be his and his alone and the world be damned if something happened.

 

Zayn was putting the finishing touches on the intricate dinner he laid out, a single red rose placed in a clear vase, two lit candles, plates and cutlery and chicken being heated in the oven its mouth-watering aroma wafting in the air. He heard the long anticipated knock and he bolted to the door with his dopey grin on display but was quickly wiped off when he saw Niall who looked miserable as hell. Eyes puffy and red like he’d been crying and he looked much older than before, wrinkles and blemishes more prominent on his pale skin.

 

“Niall, what happened?” Zayn said softly, pulling the boy in hug and ushering him inside to sit on the couch. “Did Harry take it badly?”  
“No.”  
“Well did he hurt you?”  
“No.”  
“What is it Niall? You can tell me anything. I’m here for you. Forever and Always.”  
“Harry he- Harry thinks- Harry had a test. He’s HIV positive.”

 

It was the most deafening silence Zayn had ever experienced. He could hear the hustle and bustle in the flat upstairs, cabs honking in streets outside, his own heartbeat that seemed to be right by his ear – fast and erratic – or was he hearing Niall’s heartbeat and his jagged breaths – in and out, in and out.

 

“Are you- you know?” Zayn finally said, a quiet whisper barely audible but it rang loudly in his and Niall’s ears.  
“I don’t know. Probably.” Niall mumbled.  
“Well I can take the day off tomorrow and we can go to the clinic.”  
“What?”  
“You know so we can get you tested.”  
“I mean, I thought you would be disgusted by me like you won’t like me anymore because I’m damaged!” There were tears welling up in the corner of his eyes and he dropped his head shamefully.  
“Look. Look at me.” Zayn cupped his hand around Niall’s chin and made him look at him, he saw sadness in the other man’s eyes and he just wanted to take it all away, the pain and the hurt. “I could never be disgusted by you because I’ve never met anyone quite like you and I’m not about to let anything get in the way of that. Anything! We’re going to get married for goodness sake and now what kind of man would I be if I didn’t keep that promise!”

 

And the first signs of what looks to be a smile appeared in Niall’s face. “So tomorrow were going to go to the clinic and were having you tested and that’s that, alright? And whatever the outcome I’ll be here for you!” Zayn proclaimed.  
Niall nodded and his heart was beating fast because _fuck_ , Zayn was everything he ever dreamed of, he ever wanted and he would ever need. He thought he knew but he really didn’t and this feeling is something like no other, he felt like he was falling, falling fast and hard. “I love you.”  
“Good because I made food and I’m hungry.” Zayn said, standing up making his way to the kitchen leaving Niall a little stunned on the couch. “Oh” he said turning back with a massive grin plastered on his face

 

 “I love you too.”

 


End file.
